What in the??? The Lost Boys is going to be WHAT?

The last thing you would expect… No, not the Spanish Inquisition.

“The Lost Boys,” yes that iconic vampire movie from the 80s with Kiefer Sutherland and the twin powerhouse of the two Coreys (Haim and Feldman), is getting a totally new spin – it’s becoming a musical! Yes, you don’t have to clean your ears, you heard that right.

Much to my consternation, it seems that Hollywood just can’t let go of “The Lost Boys.” Despite all the problems with sequels and TV reboot tries, they’re finally taking it where no coming-of-age teenage vampire flick should ever go… off the screen and onto the stage.

The one to blame is David Hornsby, the guy behind “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” and “Mythic Quest,”, and guess what? Chris Hoch, who worked on “Shrek the Musical,” is teaming up with him. The tunes are from the band the Rescues, and Michael Arden, a Tony Award winner, is directing. Oh, and get this – actors like James Carpinello, Marcus Chait, and yes, the Patrick Wilson, are producing it.

But here’s the big question: will this musical stick close to the original 1987 movie by Joel Schumacher? We’re not sure about the details yet, like where and when it’ll hit the stage. The “Lost Boys” franchise has had its ups and downs recently, with some sequels not really clicking and TV reboot efforts not taking off. Will this musical change that? Who knows, but it’s definitely different.

As a huge fan of the original movie, I’m not keen on the idea. The music was a big deal in “The Lost Boys” – from the killer soundtrack to the pop-punk vibe of the characters. I can think of a few songs from the movie that would be hard to get rights to, like “People Are Strange,” “Lost in the Shadows,” “Cry, Little Sister,” and “I Still Believe.” How would it be possible for them to incorporate those iconic songs into a stage musical?

Remember that epic sax scene with Tim Cappello? If that is not a major set piece for this musical, they are missing the mark. If they can capture some of that energy and vibe, then it may have a chance. But I am not holding out hope. I mean, I am not going to see it, unless I must. Then I will act like a child… I don’t wanna!!!

The original movie, in case you haven’t seen it (then you are too young), is about two brothers, Corey Haim and Jason Patric, moving to a vampire-infested town. Kiefer Sutherland leads the vampire gang, while Corey Feldman and other locals try to fight them off. You can catch it on Max if you want to stream it. So, we will see if this musical can do anything for “The Lost Boys.” Or will it be stacked on the carcasses of the later sequels? One more failed attempt to go back to the well?